[Blog] Sleep Training: Is it Safe or Harmful?

Ft. Dr Sujay Kansagra, Pediatric Neurologist & Sleep Medicine Doc

Parenting in the age of social media is overwhelming, especially when it comes to baby sleep. One of the most controversial parenting topics is sleep training. Some parents and experts swear by it, calling it a parenting game changer. Others claim it is traumatic and liken it to neglect.

So what does the science actually say? What is the objective truth behind the claims about sleep training? In this episode of The Modern Indian Parent Podcast, Dr. Sujay Kansagra, a pediatric neurologist and sleep medicine expert, helps us break down the myths and facts.

If you're a sleep-deprived parent wondering whether sleep training is the right choice for your family, this blog post is for you!

Watch the Full Epsiode here:

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The Sleep Training Debate on Social Media

Social media is filled with contradicting information. Some claim that sleep training is safe and effective, while others argue that it teaches babies to stop crying because they know no one will come.

“It is tough to be a parent these days with all the opinions out there, and it's hard to distill opinion from fact.” – Dr. Sujay Kansagra

The divide between the two sides is stark. Advocates of sleep training emphasize its benefits, such as improved sleep for both baby and parents, while opponents claim it leads to emotional harm and long-term attachment issues. This intense polarization makes it hard for new parents to know whom to trust.

So let’s dig into the most common claims about sleep training and see what the research actually says.

Watch/Listen to the Full Episode Here:

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Why Sleep Training is Uncommon in Indian Families

Sleep training is an unfamiliar concept in most Indian households. A study in Bangalore found that 98% of Indian families co-sleep, and 89% of them bed-share.

“In India, sleep training isn’t even presented as an option. If a parent chooses to sleep train, they are criticized heavily for it.” – Rinie Gupta

Dr. Kansagra, who has South Asian roots, understands the cultural context and confirms that co-sleeping is deeply ingrained in Indian parenting. However, he emphasizes that just because something is common doesn’t mean it’s the only right way.

Many Indian parents feel pressured to follow tradition. Grandparents may insist that a baby must sleep with their mother for the first several years of life. This results in sleep deprivation for parents who may prefer independent sleep but feel guilty about choosing an alternative. The conversation about sleep training in India needs to shift from judgment to informed decision-making.

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Claim #1: 'Sleep Training Teaches Babies to Stop Crying, Not Sleep'

A widespread belief is that sleep training teaches babies that crying is useless rather than teaching them how to sleep.

“I've never met a child that just stops crying day and night because they have learned that no one's coming to help them.” – Dr. Sujay Kansagra

The argument against sleep training often cites learned helplessness, suggesting that babies stop crying because they feel abandoned. However, if this were true, sleep-trained babies would not cry at all when they are hungry, scared, or uncomfortable – and yet, they do. Babies continue to signal for their needs throughout the day and night. The reality is that sleep training helps babies develop the ability to fall back asleep on their own, just as adults do after waking up briefly at night.

Additionally, the idea that sleep training is simply a process of leaving a baby to cry for hours is misleading. Most sleep training methods involve gradual adjustments that support a baby in learning independent sleep skills.

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Claim #2: 'Babies Cannot Learn to Self-Soothe'

A common argument is that babies lack the neurological development to self-soothe, as their prefrontal cortex is not developed enough.

“People throw around terms like ‘prefrontal cortex’ without understanding what it actually means.” – Dr. Sujay Kansagra

Studies show that even by one month of age, some babies sleep through the night. They are waking up between sleep cycles – just like all humans do – but they are putting themselves back to sleep. This means that the ability to resettle without intervention is present in some babies very early on.

Furthermore, self-soothing doesn’t mean that a baby must manage distress on their own. It simply means that they can settle back to sleep without needing a parent to intervene every time they wake up. Some babies naturally develop this ability, while others need structured guidance to achieve it.

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Claim #3: 'Babies Will Sleep Through the Night When They’re Ready'

Many parents are told that all babies will eventually sleep through the night when they are biologically ready.

“It can be tomorrow. It can be when they go to college. And I don’t have a good way of distinguishing which one it’s going to be for your child.” – Dr. Sujay Kansagra

Many parents keep waiting, but the goalpost keeps moving. They are told their child will sleep better at 6 months, then at 1 year, then at 2 years – and the sleepless nights continue.

The reality is that some children naturally start sleeping through the night early on, while others continue to wake frequently for years. The “wait it out” approach can work for some families, but for others, it can lead to chronic sleep deprivation and resentment.

If sleep deprivation is affecting a family's well-being, why not use safe and effective interventions to improve it? Sleep training gives families a choice to improve their situation without waiting indefinitely for their child to “grow out of it.”

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Claim #4: 'Sleep Training is Traumatic’

One of the strongest arguments against sleep training is that it is emotionally damaging and weakens the attachment between parent and child. Critics say that sleep training breaks trust and teaches babies that their caregivers will not come when they cry. But does the science support this claim?

“Anyone saying that sleep training causes trauma, I simply ask them—where is that study?” – Dr. Sujay Kansagra

Multiple long-term studies have examined sleep training’s impact on attachment security and child well-being. These studies found no negative effects. In fact, they showed improvements in infant sleep, parental mental health, and overall family well-being.

Many parents fear that their child will become insecure or emotionally distant if they sleep train, but research does not support this claim. Studies that followed sleep-trained babies for 5 years found no difference in attachment levels between sleep-trained and non-sleep-trained children. Instead, babies who slept better were often happier and more engaged during the day.

Parents also worry that crying during sleep training is harmful. However, short-term distress is not the same as trauma. Sleep training is not about ignoring a child’s needs—it’s about teaching them how to sleep independently. And when done correctly, it leads to better quality sleep for both baby and parents.

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Claim #5: 'Sleep Training Increases Cortisol and Toxic Stress’

Another common claim is that sleep training raises cortisol levels, leading to toxic stress. Opponents argue that babies who are left to cry experience increased stress hormones, which can harm their emotional development. But what does the research say?

“There is no study showing that cortisol increases in children who are sleep trained. That study does not exist.” – Dr. Sujay Kansagra

The study that originally fueled the cortisol fear was conducted in a hospital setting, where babies were separated from their mothers and observed while they cried. This is not how sleep training is done at home. The study did not compare pre- and post-sleep training cortisol levels, making it an unreliable argument against sleep training.

Later studies that measured cortisol before and after sleep training found that cortisol levels decreased over time in babies who were sleep-trained. Why? Because once babies learned to sleep independently, their sleep became longer, deeper, and more restful, leading to better stress regulation.

“The data we have right now supports that cortisol doesn’t increase—it actually may decrease with sleep training.” – Dr. Sujay Kansagra

Instead of increasing stress, better sleep leads to better emotional regulation. A well-rested baby is a happier baby.

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Claim #6: 'Sleep Training Harms Parent-Child Attachment’

A major fear parents have is that sleep training will weaken their bond with their baby. But evidence suggests the opposite—babies who sleep better are more secure and better able to interact with their caregivers during the day.

“We have studies looking at parental attachment scores five, six years out. These studies have not shown any harm.” – Dr. Sujay Kansagra

When parents and babies are well-rested, they can enjoy more quality time together. Studies on attachment security have shown that sleep-trained babies are just as securely attached as babies who were not sleep trained.

Additionally, parental well-being matters too. Chronic sleep deprivation increases the risk of postpartum depression, anxiety, and stress, all of which impact a child’s emotional environment. When parents get better sleep, they are better able to respond sensitively to their baby’s needs.

“If sleep deprivation is affecting your mental health, don’t feel guilty about sleep training. Well-rested parents are happier, more patient, and better equipped to care for their child.” – Dr. Sujay Kansagra

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Handling Family Pushback on Sleep Training

Many parents, especially in Indian families, face resistance from relatives when they choose to sleep train. Cultural norms often dictate that babies must be held, rocked, or co-slept with for years, and sleep training is seen as unnatural.

Even Dr. Kansagra faced resistance when he decided to sleep train his own child:

“Even my parents were against sleep training until they saw the results.” – Dr. Sujay Kansagra

The best way to handle family pushback is to stay confident in your decision. Educate yourself with evidence-based research, set clear boundaries, and remind family members that every parent has the right to make the best choice for their household.

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Final Thoughts

The fear that sleep training is traumatic or harmful is not supported by scientific evidence. Studies consistently show that sleep training:

✔ Does not harm attachment security
✔ Does not raise cortisol or cause toxic stress
✔ Leads to better sleep for both babies and parents
✔ Improves overall family well-being

Sleep training is a personal choice, but it should be an informed choice. If sleep deprivation is affecting your family, there are safe, research-backed methods to improve sleep.

🔗 Watch the full podcast episode here: