[Blog] Ep 46. Balancing Motherhood with a Demanding Career
ft. Anjali Harjani, Founder of Malabar Baby
Finding the balance between motherhood and ambition isn’t a straightforward journey, it is a deeply personal one. In this powerful episode of the Modern Indian Parent podcast, Anjali Harjani, founder of Malabar Baby, opens up about her path of building a global brand while raising her young son. Her story is proof that ambition and motherhood can not only coexist but thrive together, if we allow them to.
Meet Anjali Harjani: Founder of Malabar Baby
Anjali Harjani, the dynamic founder of Malabar Baby, joined the Modern Indian Parent podcast for a heartfelt conversation on balancing motherhood with an ambitious career. A former finance professional turned entrepreneur, Anjali embodies resilience and authenticity, building a global babywear brand while raising her son. Her journey offers a real, unfiltered look into what it takes to thrive in both motherhood and career without losing oneself.
The Stigma Around Ambition in Mothers
Rinie points out how the word "ambitious" carries a different weight for mothers compared to fathers, while an ambitious father is celebrated, an ambitious mother is often judged. Anjali agrees and reflects on how, sadly, even today, these stereotypes persist, especially in Southeast Asia and India.
Rather than letting societal opinions weigh her down, Anjali says she authentically owned her story from day one. Choosing the right spouse, who saw and loved her ambition even before marriage, laid a strong foundation. It wasn't that the stigmas didn’t exist, it was that she refused to let them define her.
Anjali shares a beautiful analogy: if a man is a magician pulling glamorous tricks from his hat, a woman is like a fire juggler, balancing flaming torches like career, family, childcare, all while carrying an invisible, immense mental load. It’s not about who does more; it’s about acknowledging the weight women carry.
Building Confidence Before and After Motherhood
Rinie asks if Anjali ever felt pressured to tone down her ambition after becoming a mother. Anjali smiles and shares that she was already 32 when she had her son and by then, she had built a career, traveled, and weathered professional storms. That maturity gave her a kind of unwavering confidence.
Support from her husband, in-laws, and parents also meant she didn’t have to battle the inner conflict many women face. Yet, she acknowledges that without that support, her journey could have looked very different. More importantly, Anjali chose to define motherhood for herself not by societal standards, but by her own terms.
The Beginning of Malabar Baby
When Rinie asked Anjali about how Malabar Baby started, Anjali shared that the idea came to her while she was pregnant with her son. Coming from the U.S., Anjali was used to having easy access to quality baby products. In Hong Kong, she struggled to find basic items like cribs and baby linens. This experience triggered a lot of research and brainstorming during her pregnancy. With her family’s strong background in textiles, she had the right support to start learning about product development and manufacturing.
Anjali didn’t rush into launching a business. She spent time visiting factories, understanding standards and legal requirements, and exploring different ideas. Starting Malabar Baby wasn’t part of a master plan, it grew out of a real need she experienced as a new mom, supported by the right environment and the right people.
Starting a Business While Raising a Baby
Juggling a newborn and a business wasn’t glamorous, it was fueled by sheer passion. The first ten months were about slow, steady research and development. Anjali would work around her son’s nap times, taking calls and learning about legal standards and manufacturing.
She candidly recalls hitting a wall when her son turned one when she was at her skinniest but also at her most exhausted. That moment staring at her reflection reminded her: if she wanted this life to be sustainable, she had to rethink her schedule and prioritize self-care alongside ambition.
Struggles of Trusting Others with Your Baby
Rinie opens up about her own difficulties in trusting others with her daughter, prompting Anjali to reflect on how she navigated it. For Anjali, letting her family and her longtime nanny, share caregiving duties was a conscious decision. Rather than clinging to control, she saw it as a privilege to have a village. She didn’t grow up with that support herself and shared how her mother had done it all alone, so she chose to lean into this gift, not fear it.
Rinie also shared a powerful reality about the situation in urban India. She mentioned that while 99% of fathers continue working after having children, only 28% of mothers in urban India stay in the workforce. A shocking 71% of women drop out, and even among those who return within three months, nearly half drop out later. One of the biggest reasons? The fear of trusting others with their child.
Anjali’s advice was simple but powerful: Trust the people who love your child. Let go of the fear. Building a career and raising a family don’t have to be opposing choices if you are willing to share the load.
Choking Your Ambition: Why We Need to Let Go
Anjali shares a deeply emotional story of returning from a 10-day work trip, only to find that Aryan didn’t immediately recognize her. It shook her to the core, leaving her questioning everything. But after those few seconds of shock, her son ran into her arms.
Looking back, Anjali realizes that these fears and doubts often live more in a mother’s mind than in reality. Our kids are far more resilient than we give them credit for. They thrive when they are loved, whether by parents, grandparents, or other caregivers.
Choking your ambition out of guilt doesn’t serve you or your child. Letting go, trusting your village, and honoring your dreams actually sets a stronger, healthier example for your children to follow.
Letting Grandparents Build Their Own Bond
Anjali gently encourages mothers to allow grandparents and other family members to build their unique bond with the child without hovering. Those independent relationships, filled with different perspectives and experiences, are priceless.
Rather than managing every moment, she trusted that love, not perfection, was what mattered most.
Setting Boundaries With Caregivers
Of course, boundaries are important and Rinie asks how Anjali managed to maintain them without conflict. Anjali’s answer is simple yet wise: communicate clearly but not dictatorially.
For instance, she prioritized healthy eating habits from the beginning but wasn’t rigid about occasional treats. Rather than imposing rules, she shared what worked best for her son and let her caregivers see the benefits for themselves. It’s about guiding, not controlling.
Breastfeeding, Bottle Feeding & Formula Guilt
When the topic of breastfeeding came up, Anjali was honest about how challenging that phase was for her. She shared that initially, things went well, her son latched easily, and she was able to breastfeed without major issues. But soon after returning home, she felt pressured to start pumping to maintain flexibility.
Pumping turned out to be much harder than she expected. Despite her efforts, she faced a lot of discomfort, confusion, and eventually, a decline in milk supply. Her son also began preferring the bottle because it was easier and faster for him, which made latching increasingly difficult.
Anjali admitted that this led to a lot of guilt. She internalized it, feeling like she had failed at something fundamental. Even though she tried to push through by consulting doctors and following advice, she realized that forcing the process was making both her and her baby unhappy. Eventually, she moved to a mix of pumping, breastfeeding, and formula feeding.
The real lesson she shares is clear: mothers need to stop being so hard on themselves. Feeding choices don't define the kind of parent you are- love, presence, and care do.
Overcommunication With Kids Builds Trust
Anjali’s parenting philosophy is built around transparency, even with her son. If she can’t attend a school event or has a big meeting, her son knows why.
She sees communication not as oversharing, but as building trust. Her son feels included in her journey, and that foundation, she believes, will help him grow into a supportive partner and father one day.
How Families Can Help Moms Stay in the Workforce
Rinie poses an important question: how can families better support mothers in staying in the workforce?
Anjali’s answer is clear, which is to share the load. She and her husband use a shared calendar for everything from work meetings to school pickups. Organization, openness, and genuine teamwork are non-negotiables. And above all, she stresses the need for trust. Without it, true shared responsibility is impossible.
Leading With Openness, Trust & Shared Responsibility
Anjali emphasized that openness and trust are essential in managing both family life and a career. In her home, communication is constant whether it's coordinating schedules with her husband through a shared calendar or being transparent with her caregivers and son. She believes that sharing responsibilities openly creates a more supportive environment for everyone. Mistakes aren't hidden; they are discussed honestly, reinforcing mutual trust. Anjali also encourages teaching children responsibility early, allowing them to experience small consequences and learn independence. True balance, she says, isn’t about doing everything yourself — it’s about building a team you trust.
Embracing the Pause and Pivoting in Your Career
Anjali spoke about how motherhood often brings a natural pause to a woman’s career but she believes this pause doesn't mean the end of ambition. Instead, it can be a chance to reassess, pivot, and build something even more aligned with who you’ve become. She encourages mothers to let go of the pressure to return to the exact same job or path they had before. Many women, including herself, Rinie and Sanchita(co-host), found new directions that felt more meaningful after becoming mothers. Anjali highlights that the skills, strengths, and clarity gained during this phase can lead to even greater success later.
Final Words: “You Can Have It All, But Not All At Once”
As the conversation wraps up, Rinie asks for one final piece of advice for ambitious mothers.
Anjali leaves us with words that feel like a balm: “You can have it all, but not all at once.”
She believes balance is not about doing everything perfectly, but about knowing which priorities matter most at each stage of life. Trusting your timing, owning your story, and letting go of unrealistic expectations are key.